By Alexander, Germany

If you travelled with me for one working day but were not allowed to come into the customer meetings, you might have a very boring day.

You would see a lot of Bavarian countryside.

On a normal travelling day, I can drive 400 to 600 kilometres. Often I drive 150 or 250 kilometres just to reach one customer. Between appointments I make phone calls, listen to music and keep moving. Sometimes the travelling takes longer than the meetings themselves.

From outside, it can look strange. You drive for hours, sit with a customer, drink a coffee, talk for a while and then drive home again.

It can look very unproductive.

But that is my job.

What the coffee is doing.

I need to see my customers face-to-face. Teams and Zoom are useful, but they are different. When you want to build a relationship, sitting opposite somebody still matters.

And sometimes the result of a meeting does not come immediately.

I can have a meeting today about our strategy for next year and sell nothing because of it today. Maybe I will not sell anything because of it next week either. But if we agree to do more activities together next year, that can create sales much later.

That is one of the difficult things about sales. The work and the result do not always happen at the same time.

Before a meeting, I normally want to know a few things. How is the customer doing personally? How was the year for the company? What do our sales figures look like? Which products are selling? What do I want to do with this customer next year?

I prepare the sales figures by month and by product. I look at what is happening in our company. I think about a strategy. I decide what I want to discuss.

And then I have to be ready for the customer to say no.

That is when the plan changes.

You need another idea.

There are basically two kinds of meeting.

Sometimes there is a problem and we have to solve it. Sometimes there is no problem, and we talk about the year, the products and how we can grow together.

Normally I go into the meeting with an idea.

But the customer can simply say, “No, we cannot do that.”

Then I need another idea.

Most of the time, I find that quite easy. You have to stay open. Your own plan is not automatically the right plan. If the customer explains why something will not work, you have to think about another way.

If the customer explains why something will not work, you have to think about another way.

Sometimes I do not have the answer immediately. Then that is also okay. I go away, think about it and come back at the next meeting with something different.

That part of sales interests me. I like creating a strategy and asking what we could do next with a customer.

Sending somebody two product data sheets is not very exciting. Creating a way to grow a customer is different.

Finding the real reason.

The detective work becomes more interesting when somebody says no.

A clear no is actually quite easy.

If somebody tells me, “I already have a product I trust, I have a good relationship with the supplier and I do not want to change,” then I understand the situation. I can have a cheaper product or, in my opinion, the better product, but it does not matter.

I can say: no problem. If something changes later, remember me.

The harder situation is when somebody first appears interested. You demonstrate the product. The price works. The product works. Everything seems positive.

And then the answer is still no.

Now I want to understand why.

Is it the price? Is it the product? Is it me? Is it the distributor? Is there another relationship in the background? Is there something the customer is not telling me?

That is much more difficult.

I had one of those conversations recently. From my side, everything suggested that the customer could change products. In the end, he did not.

I asked why because I wanted to understand it, but I still did not find the real reason.

For me, that means I made a mistake somewhere in the sales conversation. Normally, if somebody is genuinely open to changing, there is a reason behind the final decision. My job is to find it.

Sometimes I cannot.

The useful small talk.

There is another part of sales that is easy to misunderstand.

I often begin by asking how things are going privately.

From a purely business point of view, that information may only be “nice to have.” I do not need to know every detail of somebody’s private life to sell a product.

But relationships are not purely business.

If we discover that we have had the same problem, the same experience or something else in common, the conversation changes. We can talk differently. The customer sees that I am interested in more than the next order.

That matters.

The point is not to fake interest. It is to create a relationship where both sides know each other well enough to speak openly.

That makes the business conversation easier too.

Learning from one customer to help another.

Strategy is also not something I invent from nothing.

I learn from what works elsewhere.

Recently I spent a lot of time travelling with people from one distributor and visiting end users together. I met many different people and saw much more clearly how that distributor works, how its salespeople operate and how its customers think.

That gave me ideas.

Now I can take the basic approach that worked there and ask whether part of it could work with another distributor. Not 100 percent the same strategy, because the companies are different. But perhaps 80 percent of the foundation.

That is how I think about sales.

You see something working in one place. You understand why it works. Then you ask whether you can adapt it somewhere else.

The numbers are important because, in the end, sales is still sales. But the numbers do not tell you what to do next. For that, you need the conversations, the relationships and the experience behind them.

What people see.

Sales does not always have a good reputation.

People see the long trips in the company car. They see the coffee with the customer. They see the small talk.

What they do not see is how difficult it can be to sell a more expensive product when there are many competitors. They do not see the strategy inside the conversation, or how differently you have to speak with different people.

They do not see what happens when the customer does not follow your plan.

And they do not see the pressure when you have a bad month — or several bad months.

I had a difficult sales year for a long time. Then, during the last couple of months, the numbers changed strongly.

I had invested a lot of time in travelling with customers, meeting end users and doing things outside my normal comfort zone. Suddenly the results became much better.

Can I prove that every extra sale came because of those activities? No.

But I can see what changed after I invested that time.

And that gives me something to work with.

Now I want to take what worked, repeat it somewhere else and see whether the improvement continues.

Of course, sales has one small joke built into it.

You can have two very good months, feel happy about the progress, look at the target for the next month — and immediately think: That is going to be difficult.

Then the detective work starts again.

By Sylvie, France.

When I returned to work on Monday, I could certainly not say that I had spent my holiday doing nothing. Every day had something planned. We had jobs to finish at home, family and friends to see, places to visit and a big event at our tennis club.

It was a busy week, but it was a good one. We had some funny moments, we enjoyed ourselves, and even the ordinary jobs gave me a nice feeling when they were finished.

One of those jobs was cleaning all the windows in our house. It might not sound like a holiday activity, but I was very happy when it was done. I like the feeling when everything is clean and in its proper place. Of course, that feeling does not always last very long, especially when other people in the house leave their shoes on the garage floor instead of putting them where they belong!

A Different Kind of Holiday.

We began the week with some interesting outings. One day, we visited an exhibition about the Titanic. At the end, there was an opportunity to put on virtual reality glasses, which we decided to try. It was a nice experience, and afterwards we went to a Vietnamese restaurant with our daughter.

On Tuesday, my husband and I went on a big bicycle tour of about 95 kilometres. We also took the opportunity to visit the location of my new office in Germany, where I will be working after our company moves.

The building has enormous windows, from the ceiling right down to the floor. When you stand outside, you can see everything happening inside. I am not sure how comfortable that will be in summer or winter, but we will find out.

There is also the question of parking. We are six people, but the company has rented only three parking spaces. I looked around the nearby streets, but parking there costs about three euros an hour. Perhaps some of us will take public transport. We still have to see how everything will work.

Fortunately, there were other things to enjoy during the holiday.

On Wednesday, we cleaned the windows, and in the evening we visited family. On Friday, we worked in the garden, preparing everything for winter. That evening, we invited two friends to our house, and we had a very interesting discussion about next year’s holiday.

Everybody had different ideas about where we should go. In the end, we decided on Guadeloupe, a French island in the Caribbean.

Four years ago, I visited Martinique, another French Caribbean island, and I enjoyed it very much. Guadeloupe is nearby, so I think it will also be interesting to discover.

We are planning to travel in June, outside the school holidays, when flights should be less expensive. We want to rent two holiday villas with swimming pools, staying in different parts of the island so that we can explore more of it.

My daughters were a little disappointed when they heard about our plans, but this holiday is going to be with our friends.

We also managed to spend a whole Thursday at a spa in Germany. It was a large place with swimming pools, water slides and different saunas. One of the saunas was even built in a tree.

We also managed to spend a whole Thursday at a spa in Germany. It was a large place with swimming pools, water slides and different saunas. One of the saunas was even built in a tree.

There was also an opportunity to go into very cold water, about ten degrees. My husband was brave enough to go in, although not completely. I preferred a cold shower. At least with a shower, I can decide how cold I want the water to be!

The weekend brought another family celebration, with around 160 people. There was music, singing and good food, and we saw relatives and friends we had not seen for years. We finally arrived home at four o’clock in the morning.

So much for a quiet holiday.

Mussels, Fries and a Very Long Day.

Another important part of the week was our annual mussels and fries event at the tennis club.

Every year, our club organises this celebration to raise money. It is an important event because running a tennis club costs money. We have expenses to pay, including the trainers who teach the children, and we need different activities during the year to support the club.

We also participate in the town’s music festival in June, when we prepare tarte flambée, and we sell drinks at the local market during the warmer months.

The mussels and fries day is one of our regular celebrations. This year, we had about 50 fewer guests than last year, but it was still a good event.

There is much more work involved than simply serving the food.

We had two cooks preparing the mussels in enormous pots. Other volunteers helped in the kitchen, worked at the bar, served the guests and took care of everything that needed to be done. Around 30 people helped, including some of the younger tennis players.

And then there were the dishes.

When you have a large celebration, there are so many glasses to wash. Wine glasses, water glasses, beer glasses, glasses for soft drinks and crémant. Even when you have a dishwasher, the glasses still need to be dried and put away.

It is one of those jobs that guests probably do not notice, but somebody has to do it.

We started at half past ten in the morning and stayed until half past ten in the evening. Twelve hours is a long time to work at a celebration, but it did not feel like an unpleasant day.

We were well organised, everybody had something to do, and there was a good atmosphere among the volunteers. We spoke with many people, worked together and enjoyed the company.

When the guests had gone, our group stayed together for a while. We finished some cleaning, sat down, ate together and enjoyed French cheese with red wine.

After twelve hours of work, that was a very nice way to finish the day.

The Pleasure of Finishing Something.

I was asked which job during my holiday had given me the greatest satisfaction when it was finished.

My answer was the windows.

I really was happy when we had cleaned them all. I enjoy seeing the result of a job, especially when the house is clean and everything is in order.

I also like preparing the decorations for a table when we have a family party. With a large celebration, you need to organise everything beforehand. Some food can be prepared in advance, and for a very big party it is better to have somebody helping with the catering. I cannot cook for so many people myself.

But arranging the table is something I enjoy.

At work, satisfaction comes in a different way. Some customers take a long time to pay their invoices, and I know from experience which ones need more attention. Sometimes I send several emails, and if there is no reaction, I telephone them.

When a customer has an order waiting for delivery, it can be easier to encourage payment. After many reminders and a lot of work, I am happy when the money finally arrives.

It is not always an exciting job, but finishing something that has taken time and effort gives me a good feeling.

At home, the windows are clean. At work, the invoice is paid. At the tennis club, the guests have eaten, the glasses are washed and everything is finished.

They are very different jobs, but I appreciate the moment when the work is done.

The Best Part Is the Company.

There is another reason why I enjoy helping at the tennis club.

My husband is involved in the club’s committee, and I am also a member, so helping with events is part of our club life. We are not a very large group, and every person who offers to help is important.

Sometimes there is a lot to do, and of course it is work. But we also laugh, talk and have a good time together.

When I was asked what I remembered most about a satisfying job — doing the work, seeing the finished result or laughing with somebody — I chose laughing with somebody.

That is what makes these occasions enjoyable.

The same is true of our family celebrations. We have a big family and a good relationship with one another. At the recent party, I met people I had not seen for several years. It was nice to have the opportunity to spend time together again.

At the tennis club, it is similar. We work, but we have fun. At the end of the day, we can sit together and enjoy what we have done.

And when another event comes around, we will help again.

As I said during our conversation, “That’s the life of a group.”

My holiday was full of activities, and I enjoyed them. There were interesting outings, good meals, family celebrations, a bicycle ride, a day at the spa and plenty of work around the house.

Now I am back at work, and the next week will probably be busy again.

Perhaps this weekend will be a little quieter. I have not made many plans yet, although we might go out for a meal with our daughter.

But if my youngest daughter comes home, I am quite sure it will not be quiet for very long.

By Ralf, the Grillmeister, Germany.

If you came to my house and said, “Ralf, make me the Ralf dish,” I know what I would do.

First, I would get in the car.

For me, Grünkohl mit Pinkel does not really begin with the pot. It begins at the butcher. I drive to my favourite butcher in Bremerhaven and stand there looking at what he has. I need Kassler, smoked bacon, smoked sausages and Pinkel, but even then I am looking around because perhaps there is something else.

This is dangerous.

I can go there with a perfectly good plan and suddenly see Kassler spare ribs. Then I ask, “What is this?” He explains it to me, and of course I say, “Give it to me.”

Now the plan has already changed.

That is part of cooking for me.

The Dish That Takes Its Time.

Grünkohl mit Pinkel is a northern German winter dish: kale cooked slowly with meat and sausages, served with potatoes. There are different versions depending on where you come from. Even between Lower Saxony and Schleswig-Holstein, people start arguing about whether the potatoes should be sweet, whether the kale should be sweet, which meat belongs inside and which Pinkel is the correct Pinkel.

I solve the Pinkel problem very simply.

I buy both.

I like Bremer Pinkel and Oldenburger Pinkel because they are different. One is fattier, one has more meat, and they behave differently when you cook them. The Pinkel itself does not go directly into my kale. I let it simmer separately in hot water because a lot of fat comes out. Later, I take a little of that cooking liquid and add it back to the kale.

The kale cooks slowly with onions, smoked meat, mustard and the other ingredients. The small potatoes are cooked first and later made crispy in butter.

And yes, there is garlic.

Not twenty cloves. I am not completely crazy.

Two small cloves.

In our kitchen we have fresh garlic, dried garlic, garlic powder, even Chinese solo garlic. If you ask me how you know when a recipe has become a Ralf recipe, garlic is normally a good place to start.

In our kitchen we have fresh garlic, dried garlic, garlic powder, even Chinese solo garlic.

Unless we are making chocolate pudding.

Probably.

Five Minutes to Choose a Knife.

There is another part.

Before I cut anything, I have to choose the knife.

Somebody else looks at the vegetables and thinks, “What shall I cook?”

I can spend five minutes thinking, “Which knife shall I use?”

This is a serious decision.

I own one knife that I would never replace. My nephew gave it to me several years ago. A craftsman had made it for him as part of an exchange, and one day my nephew phoned me, came by train to see me and handed me this knife.

It was made by hand, and for me there is nothing better.

You can always buy another knife. You can buy a more expensive one, a newer one, one with beautiful advertising and perhaps a box that tells you it will change your life.

I don’t need it.

I have the good one.

There is also a vegetable cutter in my kitchen that has earned exactly the same status, although our relationship started badly. I had bought one of those television kitchen gadgets before and hated it. It was terrible. So when I saw another machine recommended by barbecue people I followed online, I was suspicious.

I bought it because I could send it back.

I never sent it back.

Pepper: bam.

Cucumber: bam.

Tomato: bam.

Onion: finished, and no tears.

If it breaks, I will buy another one immediately.

That is also how I recognise the good one. You stop looking for an upgrade.

The Atmosphere Begins Before Dinner.

Next weekend, friends are coming to us.

They could have chosen a restaurant. We could have had a barbecue. They had a choice, and they chose my Grünkohl.

For me, that is already part of the pleasure.

The atmosphere does not begin when everybody sits at the table. It begins when I drive to the butcher. It continues while I am choosing the meat, finding something unexpected, preparing everything, deciding which knife I need and slowly filling the house with the smell of the food.

Then the big plate comes to the table.

Kale. Kassler. Bacon. Sausages. Pinkel. Potatoes.

Maybe some Kassler spare ribs have accidentally joined the party because I went shopping without adult supervision.

There must also be beer. Grünkohl is not really wine food.

Afterwards, many people around here would drink Korn. I don’t like Korn. I think it is horrible. Instead, I prefer a herbal digestif we call Tante Ella. It smells a little of vanilla and, after this meal, it seems to put everything back where it belongs: fat on the right, potatoes on the left, kale in the middle.

Medical science may have another explanation.

I prefer mine.

Better on Monday.

The wonderful thing about Grünkohl is that Saturday is not the end of it.

Saturday is good.

Sunday is better.

Monday can be fantastic.

Every time the kale is warmed again, something happens to it. The flavours come together more and more. At first I serve it in the traditional way with potatoes. Later, the leftover potatoes can go into a pan until they are crisp, then the cold kale and pieces of meat go in with them.

Everything heats together.

By the third or fourth serving, you have something that is no longer quite the same meal you started with.

For me, this is not a problem.

This is the reward.

I do something similar when I cook other food. If there is a little Chinese food left the next day, perhaps I add prawns. Then maybe some leek. The meal moves. It becomes something else.

I don’t like throwing good food away when it can still become interesting.

What Ira Chooses.

Ira has her own favourites.

If she can choose winter food, there will be turnips. There will be lentil soup. Pea soup. Potato soup.

Soup, soup, soup, soup.

This is actually very practical for me. I can cook a big pot. We eat it for two days, and some can go into the refrigerator. If I am away, she can warm it up herself in the evening.

Sometimes the simple things are exactly the right things.

One of the easiest meals she likes uses North Sea shrimps on good bread with egg. You can serve them on rye bread with just a little remoulade or butter, then put the shrimps on top and finish it with eggs.

Of course, in our house scrambled eggs are not simply scrambled eggs.

They have to be schlotzig.

We have standards.

When Dinner Has Worked.

How do I know a meal has been successful?

It is not because somebody says the correct words while sitting at the table.

It comes later.

Friends go home, then a WhatsApp message arrives saying it was a lovely day again. Perhaps they have gone home carrying a doggy bag, and the next evening they heat it up and send another message because the food is still good.

That makes me happy.

Cooking is work. Grünkohl especially is something you have to watch. You add things at different times. You don’t want the meat overcooked. You have to think about it.

I probably make it too rarely because it takes effort.

But I love doing it.

What Stays.

At the end of our conversation I was asked a difficult question.

Imagine I could keep only one recipe, food tradition or cooking habit from my life. What would survive?

My answer was not Grünkohl.

It was not barbecue.

It was not my special knife, garlic, Pinkel or crispy potatoes.

It was what my mother taught me at the stove.

By Fabrice, France.

A simple question with several answers.

Janita and I began our conversation with an imaginary visit to a café. I ordered sparkling water, while Janita chose a strawberry milkshake. From there, we started talking about the people who make ordinary places and activities better. Not necessarily the most important people, or the ones with the biggest titles, but those whose presence makes a workplace, club or association somewhere you enjoy being.

It sounds like a simple question. Everybody knows somebody who is good company, somebody who makes people laugh or somebody who can organise things when nobody else wants to take responsibility.

But as we talked, I noticed how differently Janita and I approached it. She remembered people who had made her working life more enjoyable. I thought more about what people actually do, whether you can depend on them, and what kind of relationship you have with them.

Perhaps that is because our working lives have been quite different.

A boss who gives you the keys.

Janita worked in a liquor store when she was young, and she remembers her boss as somebody who made a real difference. He was friendly, treated her well and taught her things she didn’t know. More importantly, he trusted her. Even though she was young, he gave her the keys to the shop.

That tells you something about their working relationship. A boss can give instructions all day, but handing somebody the keys means you believe they are capable of taking responsibility.

There was another side to the job that Janita remembers particularly well. On Saturdays, they could wear their rugby shirts to work, and there was a television for watching rugby or cricket. The sport depended on what was happening that weekend, but it became part of the atmosphere in the shop.

She experienced something similar at one of the pharmacies where she later worked. Her boss was also enthusiastic about sport, and they would sometimes watch rugby, cricket or the Olympics on a computer. Janita is still connected with that former boss on Facebook, where sport remains a regular subject.

I could understand why she remembered those jobs fondly. Her employers didn’t simply tell her what to do. They created an environment where people could work together and enjoy themselves.

Her experience in another pharmacy was very different. It belonged to a large chain, with procedures, targets, performance indicators and considerable pressure from management. The expectations applied to everybody, whether they worked at the till, stocked shelves or held a management position. There wasn’t much room for mistakes.

Janita was describing two kinds of workplace, and it wasn’t the professional activity that made the difference. It was the atmosphere created by the people running them.

For me, however, work has a different place in my life.

I go to work to earn money. I don’t go there to make friends.

That doesn’t mean I want to spend my working day arguing with everybody. Of course it’s better when people are competent and you can work together without unnecessary problems. But I don’t need somebody at work to make my life special. I have my friends outside work, and those relationships are something different.

For Janita, a good colleague or boss can become part of what makes the working day worthwhile. I understand that. I simply don’t expect my workplace to provide the same things as my friendships.

Being pleasant isn’t everything.

During the conversation, we considered whether somebody could be very good at their job but difficult to get along with.

I suggested myself.

I know I can speak loudly. I’m not always particularly polite, and I don’t necessarily wrap everything in diplomatic language. If something needs to be said, I tend to say it. People who know me might describe me as stubborn or grumpy, and I can understand why.

Janita remembered a colleague with a different kind of difficulty. When something didn’t go her way, this woman would become upset, sometimes cry or make a scene, and the attention would move away from the original problem towards her reaction.

That can be exhausting for everybody else, particularly when people are already working under pressure.

But being easy to get along with and being dependable are not exactly the same thing.

I might not always be the most cheerful person in the room. I might speak too loudly or say something too directly. But when somebody genuinely needs my help, that is another matter.

I might not always be the most cheerful person in the room. I might speak too loudly or say something too directly. But when somebody genuinely needs my help, that is another matter.

Of course, it depends on the person.

I don’t believe that being helpful means agreeing to every request or making yourself available to everybody whenever they want something. There are people who will ask and ask without considering what it costs somebody else. I have had situations where I eventually decided that enough was enough.

But for a good friend, I can do a great deal.

If somebody I care about calls me at midnight or three o’clock in the morning because they genuinely need help, I can get in the car and go. Even travelling more than a thousand kilometres to the south of France is not necessarily a problem.

That might seem strange coming from somebody who has just admitted that he isn’t always very polite.

But I don’t see a contradiction.

I can be difficult in a conversation and still be somebody you can rely on. I can enjoy somebody’s company without wanting to take responsibility for their problems. And I can have a close friendship with somebody I don’t speak to every week.

For me, friendship is not measured by how often we sit together drinking coffee. What happens when somebody really needs you matters as well.

The people who make things happen.

When we moved from workplaces to clubs and associations, Janita and I found ourselves on more familiar ground.

I have been involved in organising activities, and I know how much work can be hidden behind an event that appears quite straightforward to everybody attending.

Before you invite people, you need to know what you are actually going to do. You need a programme, a suitable place, the right people and whatever equipment or arrangements the activity requires. Sometimes you need assistance from another association. Sometimes somebody who promised to help becomes unavailable, or a location cannot be used.

And that is when you discover whether your preparation was good enough.

I like having a Plan B. If something doesn’t work, you need another solution. You cannot simply stand there with twenty people waiting and announce that the evening is cancelled because one part of the arrangement has failed.

Janita knew something about this from her cycling days.

She belonged to a large cycling club in South Africa, with several hundred members divided into different groups according to their abilities. There were beginners, intermediate cyclists and faster riders, with people responsible for arranging the group activities.

The club also organised evening rides of approximately thirty to thirty-five kilometres. The problem for Janita was that she had to drive around thirty kilometres just to reach the meeting point, and then drive all the way home after finishing the ride.

She realised that several other cyclists lived near her and had the same inconvenience.

So she started a WhatsApp group, invited the local riders and began arranging their own evening rides. She organised the meeting points, times, routes, distances and speeds according to whoever wanted to participate.

They went out several times and enjoyed themselves.

I liked that example because she didn’t need to complain about the original club or insist that somebody else change the arrangements. She saw a practical problem and did something about it.

It was also interesting to hear how she thought about the people joining her rides. The speed and distance depended on the group. The arrangement had to work for the people who were actually coming, not simply for the person organising it.

In my associations, I also have to consider the participants, but I tend to approach the work through the programme and the preparations necessary to make it happen.

The two things belong together. Somebody has to take responsibility for organising an activity, but the activity must also be worth attending.

We also discussed what would be involved if Janita took on an official role in one of the associations I know. She was curious about the meetings, events and responsibilities, and I explained some of the administration involved in running a shooting club, including correspondence with the authorities and the obligations connected with its activities.

Being president is not simply a matter of attending meetings. There are rules, safety responsibilities and paperwork. Janita was familiar with organising people, but she was also surprised by some of the administrative requirements involved.

It was another example of how much responsibility can sit behind something that members experience mainly as a social activity.

And what about the man with the cake?

We then considered an imaginary club member who never organises anything, never volunteers, regularly forgets meetings and generally contributes very little to the practical work of the association.

There was just one exception.

He always arrived with excellent cake and made everybody laugh.

Should we keep him?

Janita thought the answer was obvious. Of course we should. An association normally has a president, secretary, treasurer and other people responsible for running things. Not every member needs an official job. If somebody makes the gatherings more enjoyable, that is also a contribution.

I could understand her point, although somebody still has to do the work.

You cannot organise a successful event entirely with cake and jokes. If nobody arranges the place, prepares the programme, contacts the participants or takes responsibility for the necessary decisions, there won’t be much of an event to enjoy.

But if those things are already taken care of, why shouldn’t somebody come simply to spend time with the others?

It is one of the differences between running an organisation and belonging to one.

The people doing the administration may not be the people who make everybody laugh. The person who keeps the atmosphere pleasant may have no interest in joining the committee. And somebody who is excellent at organising might be a little difficult to deal with.

An association needs different kinds of people. The important thing is that the work gets done and people have a reason to come back.

The people we would invite.

Towards the end of our conversation, we returned to the imaginary café. We had our sparkling water and strawberry milkshake, and now there was one more chair at the table.

We were asked whom we would like to invite.

I chose my wife.

There were plenty of other possibilities, including people who might be entertaining or who had interesting experiences to share. But when I thought about somebody I would actually like to have sitting beside us, I didn’t need to search very far.

My wife was the obvious answer.

We talked about her patience. She is a very patient person, and that is something I appreciate. We have shared a great deal of life together, and she knows me with all my qualities and difficulties.

Janita chose Sarah, another member of Brida whom I haven’t met. She thought Sarah’s interest in traditional dancing, her languages and her sense of humour would make for an enjoyable conversation. She also thought Sarah and I might have things to learn from one another.

That would certainly be interesting. I enjoy meeting people who have different experiences and interests, and there is usually something to talk about once you begin.

But I was happy with my own choice.

We had spent the conversation discussing employers, colleagues, friends, club organisers and people who make gatherings more enjoyable. Janita had remembered bosses who trusted her and allowed people to enjoy themselves at work. We had both described the satisfaction and responsibility involved in organising activities. I had talked about being direct, sometimes difficult, and about how far I would go to help somebody who matters to me.

There are different ways of being important in another person’s life.

A good employer can make work more pleasant. A competent colleague can make a difficult job easier. An organiser can bring people together. Somebody with a good sense of humour can make an evening worth attending. And a good friend can be the person you call when you need help, even if you haven’t spoken for a long time.

I wouldn’t expect one person to fulfil all those roles.

Nor do I think somebody has to be endlessly cheerful or agreeable to be worth having around. People have different characters, different responsibilities and different ways of showing that they care.

As for the person I would choose to spend another afternoon with, there was no difficult decision.

I’d bring my wife.

By Babette, Germany.

It is getting cold in Germany. Today, the temperature outside is somewhere between two and five degrees, and I am already looking forward to getting home, sitting on the sofa with my knitting and having a hot chocolate with marshmallows.

But first, I need to collect my son from school.

This is the time of year when I enjoy making the house cosy. I like having small lights in the windows, and soon it will be time to put up the Christmas decorations. We have already started with the lanterns for St Martin’s Day, and I have another project planned for the garden.

If everything goes well, we will have a new Christmas tree made from wood and covered in lights.

We just have to build it first.

The Season of Lanterns and Fairy Lights.

Yesterday, we went to a lantern procession. The children had made their lanterns at school, and I showed Janita what they looked like.

In Germany, St Martin’s Day is celebrated on 11 November, and lantern processions are part of the tradition. This was the last one at school for us, so I do not think we will be walking in another procession this year.

Instead, I have put the lantern in the window. In the evening, I switch on the light inside it, and it looks lovely.

After St Martin’s Day, I will change the decorations for Christmas. But that does not mean the house is without lights during the rest of the year.

I like fairy lights much more than the normal ceiling lights. They make everything feel warmer and more comfortable, especially when it is dark outside.

In September, I bought two hearts with lights inside them, and now they shine every evening. I also have a curtain with many small lights that stays up throughout the year.

Even in the morning, when I drink my coffee, I like having a little light shining in the window behind me.

It is a small thing, but I enjoy it.

A Christmas Tree That Doesn’t Grow.

At the end of November, probably around the 27th or 28th, I will start decorating for Christmas.

We have two floors in our house, but most of the decorations go on the main floor. We also decorate outside.

Last year, we built a large wooden star with lots of lights and put it in the garden. This year, I would like to add a Christmas tree made from wood.

I found an idea in a brochure from a DIY shop. It looked interesting, and I thought we could make something similar ourselves. I also looked on Pinterest, because there are always so many ideas there.

The tree needs pieces of wood that we can put together with screws. Then we have to paint it and add the lights.

I do not want to buy a finished one from Amazon. I would rather build it ourselves.

Of course, finding a picture of something and actually making it are two different things.

Janita looked at my idea and thought it might be a little complicated. She told me about a wooden Christmas tree her mother uses in South Africa. It is tall, made with wooden posts and supports, and can be decorated with fairy lights or tinsel.

It is tall, made with wooden posts and supports, and can be decorated with fairy lights or tinsel.

She sent me a picture so I could compare the two designs.

Her mother’s tree looks a little easier to build, although I still like my original idea. We have a spray gun that could make painting the wood easier, and I need to check what materials we can use.

I will ask my husband which design he thinks is better and easier to make.

Perhaps we can start this weekend, or maybe next weekend. We still have a few weeks before the Christmas decorations go up.

I hope the finished tree will look like the picture. When it is ready, I will send Janita a photograph.

The Christmas Films We Watch Again.

Talking about Christmas decorations led us to another tradition: watching Christmas films.

We have an artificial Christmas tree that we take out of its cardboard box every year, put together and decorate with lights and Christmas baubles. Some of our decorations have the Grinch on them.

My son, especially likes the Grinch. He has Grinch clothes, including a tracksuit and socks, and even Grinch bed linen.

My daughter also likes the Grinch, and she watches the film every year. But another film is particularly special in our family.

It is Three Wishes for Cinderella, known in German as Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel.

The film was made in 1973, as a production involving the former Czechoslovakia and East Germany. It is an old fairy tale, but it is still shown on German television every Christmas season.

She loves watching it, and it was one of my favourites too. I introduced her to the film, and now it is something we both enjoy.

This year, there are many opportunities to watch it on television, beginning in November and continuing into January.

Janita was surprised when I told her how old the film was. She wondered how she had discovered a film made so many years before she was born.

The answer was quite simple. I had shown it to her.

There is also a newer version, but we have not watched that one yet. Perhaps we will try it this Christmas.

I also like another old fairy-tale film, Father Frost. I believe it is Russian, and it reminds me of the Russian language I learned at school.

I can still read and write Cyrillic letters, and I remember some words, although I have forgotten much of the spoken language because I do not use it anymore.

It is funny how an old film can bring back something you learned many years ago.

A Growing Christmas Watchlist.

Janita and I started exchanging other Christmas film ideas.

In her family, they enjoy watching A Boy Called Christmas. She sent me a picture of it, and I said we should look for it.

She also mentioned Red One, a film about Santa Claus being kidnapped.

In our family, we watch the three The Santa Clause films every year. We also talked about Home Alone, the Grinch and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

That reminded me of something I had seen in a shop brochure the previous week: Willy Wonka chocolate.

I thought it would be fun to try it. After collecting my son from school, I planned to look for it and see whether there was any left.

We also talked about a programme my daughter had watched on Netflix, Wonka’s Golden Ticket. It is a competition programme based on Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, with contestants completing challenges to win a large prize.

I thought it was rather crazy.

Janita found it interesting, and soon we were discussing even more films. By the end, we had given each other quite a few things to watch over Christmas.

Halloween Was a Little Quieter This Year.

Before Christmas comes another celebration, although this year’s Halloween was not quite as busy as I had expected.

Last year, I had a large basket of sweets, and when we came home, it was empty.

This year, I prepared a smaller bowl, and there were still sweets left the next day.

We also had a little Halloween gathering, with mulled wine for the adults and a non-alcoholic warm punch for the children.

For the children’s drink, I used a Finnish non-alcoholic mulled wine, apple and cherry juice, and tea with vanilla.

I had prepared quite a lot, but we did not need all of it.

The weather was not particularly inviting. It was around ten degrees, with a cold wind, and the village seemed much quieter than last year.

My son went out on my electric bicycle, riding through the village, but many families did not have sweets. Some offered fruit instead, including small oranges.

It was a different Halloween from the previous year, but we still had our little celebration.

And now the next traditions are waiting.

First, Hot Chocolate.

There is still plenty to do before Christmas.

I need to buy the materials for the wooden tree, decide which design we will use and work out when we can build it. Later in November, I will take out the Christmas decorations and put up the lights.

There are also Christmas films to find. Perhaps we will watch the newer Cinderella film this year, or try one of Janita’s recommendations. And I still want to see whether I can find that Willy Wonka chocolate.

But today, after collecting my son from school, I have a much simpler plan.

I want to sit on the sofa, do some knitting and enjoy a hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Outside, it is cold. Inside, there are already little lights shining in the windows.

And for now, that is enough.